


The Total Package

by lost_in_sea



Category: Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, for now this is the only fic on my account, if anyone stumbles upon this im so sorry, regrettably, this is a joke for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_in_sea/pseuds/lost_in_sea
Summary: As stated in the tags, this is purely a joke for my friend and im so sorry if anyone else reads this. Sorry for the funky pacing in this, i realize that it's all over the place and sorry for any errors with spelling or grammar
Relationships: Jason Funderberker/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	The Total Package

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the tags, this is purely a joke for my friend and im so sorry if anyone else reads this. Sorry for the funky pacing in this, i realize that it's all over the place and sorry for any errors with spelling or grammar

You straightened your shirt out, glancing in the mirror. “Yeah, you look fine.” You smiled to yourself. You hadn’t really thought of a costume this year, so you rummaged through your closet, grabbing some old, used up clothes and tore some holes in them. You threw the now tattered clothes on, and grabbed some face paint. It was god knows how old but you put some on, making your face look as pale and sunken as possible. You smudged some red and purple here and there, blending the slightly chunky paint to look like gashes and bruises.  You took one last look in the mirror before leaving the bathroom, trotting downstairs. “I’m off to the party!!” You called out to your parents. 

You didn’t wait for an answer from them and hopped onto your bike anyways, peddling moderately fast. You didn’t want to be late to the party, fearing that you’d miss the whole thing. Funderberker had invited you, which was surprising as he hardly talked to anyone. _Funderberker…_ You sighed, butterflies welling in your stomach. Before your thoughts could drift farther down that road, a loudspeaker snapped you out of your thoughts.   
“Hey! No biking in the road!! … Hah, just kiddin’. Happy Halloween!” The officer called, not noticing the way you almost wiped out on your bike trying to swerve off of the road. You grumbled and continued peddling, swiftly and neatly turning into the house driveway. Music thumped from the inside of the house and a few people lingering outside with red solo cups in their hands. You dismounted your bike and headed inside, saying your “hi’s” and “hello's” to people you recognized and hung out with. You grabbed a cup of punch for yourself and grabbed a few cookies, balancing them in a neat stack. 

“(Y/N), Hey!” A girl waved you over. You recalled her name to be Sara, remembering seeing her in different classes. You walked over, smiling.    
“Hey Sara.” You smiled. “We have science class together, right?”

“Yep!” She smiled back. “After break we should try to be lab partners.”

“Yeah, definitely.” You scanned the crowd, looking for Jason.

When you couldn’t spot him, you two launched into small talk, talking about minute things such as homework and parents. 

“Yeah, I was pretty good at ballet but my mom wanted me to be a wrestler-”

A boy backed into her, whipping around and stammering.    
“S-Sara! You’re here! Of course you’re here, you were invited- Oh, hey (Y/N).” He gave a weak smile and fidgeted nervously. 

“Hi Wirt.” Oh where to begin with Wirt. The timid poet who you shared all of your classes with. He was always nervous about  _ something _ , whether it was homework or whether another student had looked at him funny. He was fairly tall and lanky, a little shorter than Sara, but still tall. He was certainly handsome, with his brown hair and doe-brown eyes, constantly flitting this way and that. You listened as Sara and him talked, watching as Sara invited him to the graveyard with you and a few of her friends. He fiddled with his hands, spluttering out that you guys should just go on ahead without him. Sara’s expression had dropped. 

“Well, you can always swing by later…” She was hopeful that he would get the hint. 

“I, uh- yeah, maybe. Oh hey, Funderberker.” He said his last name with resentment half scowling, half grimacing.

You almost choked on the lofthouse cookie you had been snacking on, quickly clearing your throat. 

“Hey Sara, hey (Y/N).” Both Sara and Wirt cringed a little at his voice, and even a picture of a frog popped into your mind.

“Hi J-Jason.” You smiled a smile that was a little too wide, feeling heat rise to your cheeks and seep down past your shirt collar. You were very thankful for the dim lights or else you would be the laughingstock of the school, getting embarrassed while talking to  _ Jason, _ of all people. You crammed the rest of the cookie into your mouth to prevent yourself from saying something stupid. You watched as he addressed Sara, head tilted up slightly due to their different heights. He was a bit short, you admitted, mentally comparing him to Wirt and yourself. 

You were brought back from your daydreaming by Sara lightly tapping you on the shoulder.

“Let’s go, Sara.”  A habitual groan came from him and your stomach flipped. He started to leave, but looked back at you from over his shoulder, smiling. Your brain short-circuited, and frantically tried to put your legs into gear. You quickly went to catch up with him, a wave of cold autumn air hitting your face as you walked out of the stuffy (probably spiked) fruit punch aroma that filled the house. Sara followed you both out, before stopping. “My jacket!” She quickly turned around and went back into the house, leaving you, Jason and a few other people alone. Everyone stood there awkwardly, shifting their weight or fiddling with an item on their costume. 

One boy spoke up after a few minutes, jabbing Jason in the ribs. “So.. Who’re you asking out at the graveyard tonight?” A few of the other kids snickered.  _ He was gonna ask someone out??? Oh no, oh no no no no.  _ Thoughts and worries ran through your head.  _ What if it’s me? What if it’s someone else? Who else could it be... Sara?  _ You’ve seen him try to impress Sara, saying stupid things and acting funny. As if on cue, Sara walked back out of the door. “Let’s go guys.” Everyone trailed behind her. Idle chatter was made as everyone marched to the cemetery, swapping ghost stories and old legends. 

You looked around at the graveyard, spotting a nice empty patch that was semi-hidden by gravestones.    
“Hey guys,” you called, pointing to the spot. “Let’s sit there.” 

Everyone agreed and went over, testing the dirt to see if it was mud. When everyone deemed it was just slightly damp, you all sat down and went quiet. 

A girl in your science class piped up and suggested that we should all share our own ghost stories. You nodded. “Jason, you should go first.” He perked up at his name, looking surprised. “Oh, alright.” He sat for a minute, conjuring up a story before setting the scene, moving his hands about as he talked. As he was explaining his story, everyone mumbled and chuckled at the way he expressed certain actions with his hands.    
Out of nowhere, a small trumpeting sound came from behind the group. 

“Hey isn’t that Wirt’s little brother?”

“Nooo… I am the headless elephant!!” The little boy removed the teapot from his head and twirled around, making a trumpeting noise again. Everyone got a good laugh at that. 

“Is Wirt here too?” Sara asked, hope in her voice.

“Over there!” He pointed at one of the gravestones. 

Everyone watched as Wirt tried to duck behind the headstone, his hat peeking over the top. He turned around and feigned a look of shock.

“Greg, there you are! I totally wasn’t spying on anybody…” He chuckled nervously before launching into a completely unnecessary explanation about his brother wanting to go frog hunting.

You leaned back on your hands, sitting criss-cross in the dirt. Everyone listened as Wirt stammered out his reasons for his little brother appearing out of nowhere. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jason mimic your sitting position, seeing him shift as he got comfortable. Right before he settled down, he scooted noticeably closer to you and put his hand on yours. You coughed and felt heat rise to your cheeks again. 

Just as you were about to say something to Wirt, bright headlights shone in the group's direction, everyone freezing and shielding their eyes.

“What’s going on here? Is this some kind of witches’ gathering?”

Everyone exchanged confused glances.

“You’re all under arrest!” 

People who were sitting instantly scrambled to their feet and took off. 

“Run!” Someone called from behind your shoulder. As everyone ran hastily across the graveyard, you realized you were running hand in hand with Jason. You, Sara, and Jason hid behind a tall grave marker, breathing hard. 

“Man, (Y/N)... I did not expect this!” The rush of adrenaline caused you all to burst out laughing. You leaned against Funderberker, smiling. 

Sara pulled a tape out of her pocket. “It has my name on it..?” Jason continued to giggle. “Let’s all go listen to it!” You gently elbowed him in the ribs, laughing.

You heard someone sigh and say, “That’s it, that’s the end.” You turned around just in time to see both Wirt and his little brother hop over the garden wall. 

**Author's Note:**

> man it's been a long time since I've written fanfic, joke or not haha. i honestly hate that i agreed to post this for my friend (not really, but it's still embarrassing.) I've also never written an "x reader" fic so yeah


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